Here at LaffGaff, we publish a brand new funny joke of the day each and every day of the year.
So make sure you keep coming back for your daily laughs, including Dad jokes, corny jokes for kids and adults, stupid jokes, short jokes, and more!
Below are all our latest daily jokes (they’re ideal for celebrating International Joke Day, which is on July 1st):
Latest Daily Jokes:
Walking Mosquito
by LaffGaff
What do you call a walking mosquito?
An itch-hiker.
Battery Kiosk
by LaffGaff
I met a girl who runs a battery kiosk in the local park.
So basically, she sells C cells by the seesaw.
Festival Evacuation
by LaffGaff
They had to evacuate my local music festival when a band did a cover of Boogie Wonderland.
It set off the Earth, Wind and Fire alarm.
Puzzled Look
by LaffGaff
My wife woke up the other day with a puzzled look on her face.
She’d fallen asleep on her crossword.
Dinosaur Novels
by LaffGaff
I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels.
She said, “Yes, try Sarah Topps.”
Suspicious Mole
by LaffGaff
I went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole.
He said they all look that way and I should have left him in the garden.
Prosthetic Eye
by LaffGaff
Did you hear about the man who only paid 5 cents for a prosthetic eye?
His name was Nikolai.
Eating Uranium
by LaffGaff
What do you get when you eat Uranium?
Atomic ache.
Recovering Hackers
by LaffGaff
I went to a meeting of recovering hackers.
It was called Anonymous Anonymous.
Engraving Lessons
by LaffGaff
I’ve started taking engraving lessons.
There’s still so much to learn, we’ve only just scratched the surface.
Beaver Documentary
by LaffGaff
I tried watching a beaver documentary.
The stream kept stopping.
Guitar Lesson
by LaffGaff
Want to know one of the most important lessons in learning how to play guitar?
Stay tuned.
Saving Everyone
by LaffGaff
A friend once told me, “You can’t go around saving everyone. They have to learn to save themselves.”
Great friend. Terrible lifeguard.
Ladder Enthusiasts Coalition
by LaffGaff
After ten years as Director of the “Ladder Enthusiasts Coalition”…
I’ve decided to step down.
Tightrope Walker
by LaffGaff
Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a well-balanced meal.
U2 Tribute Band
by LaffGaff
A friend of mine was in a great U2 tribute band.
Then they lost their Edge.
Bedtime
by LaffGaff
When I was a kid, bedtime was 9 pm and I couldn’t wait to be a grownup so I could go to bed anytime I wanted.
Turns out that is 9 pm.
Finding Bigfoot
by LaffGaff
I asked the librarian for a book on “Finding Bigfoot”.
She directed me to the large print section.
Photographer Career
by LaffGaff
I had to give up my career as a photographer.
I kept losing focus.
Cooking Approach
by LaffGaff
I cook by making up a recipe and adding a German white wine.
It’s an add hock approach to cooking.
Rehab Center
by LaffGaff
I walked by a rehab center the other day.
The sign on the lawn said, “Keep off the grass”.
Pasta Factory
by LaffGaff
Who is the saddest person in the pasta factory?
The guy who’s filling cannelloni.
Musical Differences
by LaffGaff
My friend lost his job as a journalist at a classic rock magazine through musical differences.
He was always giving rave reviews.
Hospital Parking
by LaffGaff
I parked in a hospital car park today.
The attendant came up and said, “This is for badge holders only”.
I said, “But I’ve got a bad shoulder”.
Black Hole Cult
by LaffGaff
My friend has joined a cult that worships black holes.
I’d hate to get sucked into something like that.
Manicure Competition
by LaffGaff
I went to a really bad manicure competition yesterday.
It was nail-biting.
Antique Watch
by LaffGaff
I just received a letter saying my friend bequeathed me a very expensive antique watch.
I really hope it’s not a wind up.
Long Jump
by LaffGaff
I saw a book called “Ten Steps To Improve Your Long Jump”.
I thought, “That’s cheating”.
Medieval Lamp
by LaffGaff
What do you call a medieval lamp?
A knight light.
Old Friend
by LaffGaff
I bumped into an old friend today.
I thought he’d be happy to see me, but he just kept going on about the damage to his car.
Biggest Fan
by LaffGaff
I took my friend to see the world’s biggest fan for his birthday.
He was blown away.
Ballet Skirt
by LaffGaff
After the ballet skirt was invented, the creators spent days coming up with a name.
Finally, they put tu and tu together.
Strange Artist
by LaffGaff
I know someone who swings from ropes whilst spray painting pictures of vegetables in cages.
He’s a trapped peas artist.
Fashion Police
by LaffGaff
Did you hear about the man who was brought in by the fashion police?
They questioned him over his criminal ties.
Tractor Movie
by LaffGaff
A friend asked me if I had seen the film “Tractor”.
“No,” I replied, “But I’ve seen the trailer.”
Clogged Sink
by LaffGaff
After spending an hour unclogging the bathtub and sink…
I’m feeling pretty drained.
Time Travelling Club
by LaffGaff
I’m very good friends with the other members of my time travelling club.
We go back years.
Irish Dancing Show
by LaffGaff
I saw an Irish dancing show today called Streamdance.
It’s not quite as good as Riverdance, but then it is only a tributary act.
Helicopter Biscuit
by LaffGaff
I asked for a helicopter biscuit.
They didn’t have any so I had to have a plane one.
Telekinetic Snooker
by LaffGaff
I do enjoy playing “telekinetic snooker”.
However, you’ve got to be in the right frame of mind for it.
Tubular Bells
by LaffGaff
I thought I heard Tubular Bells on my farm last Christmas.
But it was just my cold field.
Trailer Rental
by LaffGaff
I always find it hard to rent a trailer.
I’ve never managed it without a hitch.
Share Tip
by LaffGaff
A guy told me to buy shares in a company that makes alcohol from apples.
He’s been done for in-cider trading.
Favorite Exercise
by LaffGaff
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch.
It’s called lunch.
Mail Joke
by LaffGaff
My friend sent me a joke in the mail.
Took me a few days to get it.
Money Addiction
by LaffGaff
Did you hear about the ATM that was addicted to money?
It suffered from withdrawals.
Lettuce Display
by LaffGaff
If the lettuce display at the grocery store falls over again…
I swear, heads are gonna roll.
Kids Song
by LaffGaff
“Head, shoulders, knees and toes,” used to be a fun little kids’ song.
Now it’s a list of things that hurt.
Shower
by LaffGaff
I’m not saying I’m attractive.
But when I take my clothes off in the bathroom, I turn the shower on.
Bulb Replacement
by LaffGaff
Accidentally replaced my halogen bulbs with hallucinogen bulbs.
Circuit breakers are tripping and my electric bill is really high.