40 Of (Probably) The Best One-Line Jokes Of All Time (2024)

297Kviews

Funny, Jokes

Updated Aug 28, 2023

ADVERTIsem*nT

A one-liner, also known as a punchline in some cases, is a truly remarkable form of a joke. First of all, it is so short that by telling it, you’ll never miss the ‘magical moment’ and will always leave your audience amused (that is if you’ve calculated your timing perfectly). Hence, if you are looking for a comedic shure-shot, we’ve just the thing for you — a thorough list of the best one-liners on the Internet!

Another thing with these one line jokes is that they work amazingly well for, say,movie characterslike James Bond. He always has a hilarious and laconic quip after disposing of his enemies and is well remembered for it! In fact, probably no other jokes, but funny one liners are forever at the top of the popularity Everest by being so accessible, understandable, and ultimately funny.

Thus, we are thrilled to have the opportunity to present you with our choices of thebest jokesthat fall under this category; our hopes are pretty high to entertain you with this one! So now, it is precisely time that you scroll down below to check out the best one liners that we found! From punny ones to straight-up corny and from cute to sarcastic one liners, there’s a joke for absolutely anyone here.

And after you find the one that has cracked you up, be sure to vote for it! But, if such a sad instance occurs and you can’t find your favorite one-liner included in our list, add it in the comments section.

This post may include affiliate links.

Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.

Report

Vote arrow up

Vote arrow down

229points

POST

ᴠᴀ̈ɪɴᴏ

Community Member

2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

🤣 🤣 THIS IS HILARIOUS 😂

Vote comment up

23points

Vote comment down

View more commentsArrow down menu

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.

Report

Vote arrow up

Vote arrow down

161points

POST

Nijlenna Rusty

Community Member

2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

I just snorted my coffee.

Vote comment up

22points

Vote comment down

View More Replies...

View more commentsArrow down menu

The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize.

Report

Vote arrow up

Vote arrow down

146points

POST

ᴠᴀ̈ɪɴᴏ

Community Member

2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

AYYYYY

Vote comment up

11points

Vote comment down

View more commentsArrow down menu

What are one-liner jokes?

Simply put, a one-liner is a very short joke that delivers its punchline in just one sentence. A good one-liner should always be concise and meaningful or, if you want a fancy word for it — pithy. Although these one line jokes are most often used as a part of a bigger performance, it doesn’t mean they don’t work as standalone quips. In fact, one might even argue that the shorter the joke — the more powerful the reaction!

Funny one line jokes can also be used as a punchline of a real or fictional character, just the same as a catchphrase would. Basically, due to being so short, these jokes are very universal and can be used in a variety of circ*mstances (appropriate ones, of course) and ways.

The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family. It’s that no one runs in your family.

Report

Vote arrow up

Vote arrow down

145points

POST

Catarina

Community Member

2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

James's comment should be #21🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Vote comment up

2points

Vote comment down

View more commentsArrow down menu

ADVERTIsem*nT

250 lbs here on Earth is 94.5 lbs on Mercury. No, I'm not fat. I’m just not on the right planet.

Report

Vote arrow up

Vote arrow down

136points

POST

Catarina

Community Member

2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

Hahaha some people i know Will use this every day🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Vote comment up

13points

Vote comment down

View more commentsArrow down menu

If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I’d have $6.30 now.

Report

Vote arrow up

Vote arrow down

131points

POST

Shuntekia Byrd-Haynes

Community Member

2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

Noooo. To funny.🤪🤪🤪

Vote comment up

8points

Vote comment down

View More Replies...

View more commentsArrow down menu

What is the best one-liner?

Now, this is where it gets a bit biased! Each and every one of us have slightly different sense of humor and taste for our jokes, so nominating just one one-liner as the best is a tough job to say the least. However, since you, our dear readers always have an excellent taste for jokes, this one here seems to have reached number one position on our list:

Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.

So, can we agree that we found the funniest one-liner ever? Well, at least one of the best jokes, for sure!

I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.

Report

Vote arrow up

Vote arrow down

131points

POST

ᴠᴀ̈ɪɴᴏ

Community Member

2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

Took me a sec 😂

Vote comment up

11points

Vote comment down

View more commentsArrow down menu

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

Report

Vote arrow up

Vote arrow down

129points

POST

Amanda

Community Member

2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

Took me a second. 😄

Vote comment up

20points

Vote comment down

View More Replies...

View more commentsArrow down menu

ADVERTIsem*nT

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.

Report

Vote arrow up

Vote arrow down

126points

POST

Marcellus II

Community Member

2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

You want to know the difference between a sad*st and a masoch*st? I could tell you, but you'll have to beat the answer out of me.

Vote comment up

24points

Vote comment down

View More Replies...

View more commentsArrow down menu

How To Write One-Liners?

If you want to try your hand at writing one-liners, kudos to you! Homebred jokes are always the funniest and the most relevant. That said, writing one-liners comes with its own set of rules, albeit a short one:

Set your joke up for success by making it super short;
Start with a setup that seems like it’s going to one direction only;
Give it a plot twist right at the end!

By following these simple one-liner writing rules, you'll be bound for success; we’re pretty certain of it. However, if you need a bit more inspiration and a little more examples of the best one-liners, keep reading our list!

#10

I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves.

Report

Vote arrow up

Vote arrow down

113points

POST

Matthew O'Steen

Community Member

2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017